When Did it All Begin?

After having so many people ask the updates and details of our ongoing adoption process, I decided to start this blog to keep those that are interested in the loop. We will also be posting our current fundraising projects we have going to help pay for our adoption fees (which happen to be around $25K).

So.......how the heck did we decide to adopt in the first place??? Initially, Leland and I had talked about adopting and/or fostering children even when we were dating. The only difference is that we had envisioned doing that when: we were done having our children biologically; we were independently wealthy; and we were much, much older. Those that know us are aware, I'm sure, that we are definetely none of those right now (even though we are getting older rapidly!)! In fact, I am sure many of you are aware that we sold our beautiful home last fall so that we could put Leland through school without going into debt.

So, it made absolutely NO SENSE, whatsoever, when I received the first prompting a few months ago that we needed to adopt. I was sitting in the back row at this "Retreat for Women" conference that my sister, Cherie, had organized and put on at her home in Alpine, UT. Cherie was the one speaking at the time, and the topic was along the lines of realizing and creating our life's mission and integrating them with our passions in life. Right in the middle of her talk, I was bombarded with the thought of adoption. And it wasn't just a thought, or a quiet whisper, it was the word, ADOPTION!!, as if the letters were on a huge banner in neon colors. It wouldn't leave me alone, and I finally just had to write it down on the piece of paper I was taking notes on just so I could concentrate and finish listening to the lecture. But, again, the word, ADOPTION, came to my mind, and this time I felt the burning in my heart. I finally turned to my mom, who was sitting next to me, and showed her my notebook where I had written, ???ADOPTION??. I quickly explained what had happened and she just shrugged and smiled. This was such a typical thing for my mom to do! She always taught us that revelation and the promptings of the Spirit did not always come at the most convenient times in our lives. She didn't even bat an eyelash. How I love that woman...

Not a convenient time? That couldn't be more true! Not only were Leland and I preparing to have a baby biologically this next year, but we were focusing so much on saving money for his MBA and trying to pay off our last vehicle and previous student loans as well! It was the WORST time to adopt! Why was I getting this inspiration?! I finally just let it go for the time being, and finished listening to the speakers at the retreat. I got home later that night and related what had happened to Leland and his mom, Andrea (we were living with them at the time). After discussing it with them, I just passed it off as some type of preparation for an adoption that is to come in the distant future. Again, it couldn't be NOW; that wasn't part of our plans.

We went on with our lives and our "plans", and I pushed it completely out of my mind. Then a couple of weeks later, the earthquake in Haiti happened. I wondered if this was why I had received that revelation. Were we supposed to adopt orphans from Haiti? We researched it, and it is literally impossible to adopt from Haiti right now, so that question got answered real fast. But that inquiry opened our thoughts and hearts to transracial adoption. ( Transracial adoption means parents of one race adopting a child of a different race ). But again, after we found out that we couldn't adopt from Haiti, I put it out of my mind and heart again.

Then about a month and a half ago, I got the impression to start researching adoption again. Nothing more, just "research it out". So I did. I learned it was expensive, first off, and I learned that there are MANY African-American babies (especially boys) that are in need of adoptive families. Apparently, the majority of people who adopt are white couples, and lo and behold, they only want to adopt white healthy babies. After learning this, I must admit that my heart strings had definetely been tugged.

Then a week later, I got the very strong impression that we needed to "start the process...now." I'll say that by this time, I wasn't confused. I only felt joy and the anxiousness to get started. God had slowly been preparing and grooming me for this answer to come. The tough part now, however, was telling my husband that we needed to adopt! His response was exactly what I thought it would be. "Absolutely not. I though we were going to have our OWN baby this year!" We agreed to disagree at that point, and all I asked was that he pray and fast about it like I had done. So he agreed and I impatiently waited. Very impatiently waited. I think I asked him 2 or 3 times a day if he received his answer yet. I for whatever reason forgot that it had taken me almost a month to get the answer that I did, and I couldn't expect that he would get the same answer in such a short amount of time. So I backed off a little after that realization. :) During this time of perilous waiting, however, I did start calling agencies to get a better idea of the costs and the time frame for African-American adoptions. I was shocked to learn that after you submit all the paperwork and get your homestudy complete, you could bring your baby home in as little as 2-8 weeks!!! For me, this just reiterated the urgency I felt to adopt.

After a grueling 2 week wait, Leland finally told me one morning over breakfast that he felt we needed to adopt. I asked him how he came to that conclusion, and he told me the sweetest story ever with tears in his eyes. He has asked me not to repeat it, so I won't share it, but he had definitely had an epiphany moment and received an answer to his prayers. YAY! We could now start the process! We are going to adopt! So, we started the mile-high paperwork, the background history and screening process, and scheduled our homestudy. We also needed to figure out a way we were going to pay for it!

So last week we passed our homestudy (3 1/2 hour interview!), and we also found out we are not sex offenders, criminals or child abusers. Whew! However, now we are still trying to figure out how we are going to pay for it. Fortunately, there is an Adoption Tax Credit in the amount of $12, 150.00, but we won't get that until our tax return NEXT year. We still need to come up with the money up front. Also, this is the last year for that tax credit. Next year, it goes down to $5,000. This puts a time crunch on us because we basically need to have a baby placed in our home by the end of June, due to the fact that it takes 6 months to finalize the adoption. Adoptions have to be finalized by December 31, 2010 in order to receive the tax credit.

Because we sold our home and are now renting, we cannot take out an equity line of credit, which is apparently the most common way to pay for adoptions now-a-days. We are still looking for other low-interest loans, but it is proving to be very difficult and frustrating. At this point, this is the only thing keeping us from getting matched to a birth mom, which just quite honestly breaks my heart.

So, we have decided to start up a few fundraisers to help us reach our goal, and to help pay back any loans we may need to take out. I've also returned to work doing massage at a physical therapy center in Park City (which is where we are living right now, and I'll post about how we came to live here later). So, please watch for my next post to see our fundraising projects.